Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Kenny Loggins Challenges Desi Relaford On His Sexuality

The following transgressions took place on PBS Sports- For The Blind, Deaf, and Mute.

Moderator: Gweieaaarayuuayyaynaasyayysaaa (this is what one would call "a joke in extremelly poor taste.").

Relaford: I am a banana!

Loggins: Desi, do you feel you're letting the kids who idolize you down with your current behavioral patterns?

Relaford: (sings) High. Way. To. The. Daaaangerzone!

Loggins: You're not gonna take this seriously, are you?

Relaford: Every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe! I don't like you because you're dangerous!

Loggins: Seriously, Desi, what you've committed is a capitol offense in some small theocracies. How do you feel about that?

Relaford: I feel like Howard Hughes dipped naked in tapioca pudding.

Moderator: Ryaiieresrt...

Relaford: See, Loggins? He got it! And he's half-past Algernon and that Lawnmower movie! It's a fucking aviation joke, you cockpit.

Loggins: I hate myself...

Relaford: Ahahahahahahahahaha! I said cockpit! Double en-fucking-tendrae! Bwahahahaha!

Moderator: (dies)

Loggins: Um...? Is he alright?

Relaford: Yeehaw! Jester's dead!

Loggins: You're so fucking immature...

Relaford: (furiously laughing) Don't you follow the migratory patterns of small animals?

Loggins: Yeah, so...?

Relaford: No, nothing...shitpumpkin.

Loggins: Asshole.

Relaford: Ballgargler.

Loggins: Fuck you, Desi. I'm out of here. Enjoy prison, you Hiroshima Cockswagger

Loggins storms off the set.

Relaford: (throws bowl of waxed fruit at Loggins)

Loggins is knocked cold, and Relaford steals all the complimentary towels while everyone is trying to wake him up.

Commercials.

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